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Dear, Sarah

Q: How do I know that I’m giving my children good messages when it comes to drinking alcohol?



A: This is not an easy question. Most adults are not perfect all the time. J The office of substance abuse (http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/osa/) has recently published a pamphlet of information that might be helpful in terms of the mixed messages parents sometimes give. The four that they mention that should be avoided are:

1.    Have you ever reached for a drink in front of your kids, saying “I had a tough day.” This can make alcohol seem like a good way to relieve stress and something you need to relax.

2.    Do you tell drinking stories in front of kids? Laughing about heavy drinking can make alcohol seem necessary to have fun.

3.    Do you ever ask your kids to get a beer or other alcoholic drinks for you? This can make young kids feel comfortable handling alcohol.

4.    Do you ever encourage your own friends to drink more in front of your kids? This could make your kids think, “More drinks means more fun!” and teaches them that peer pressure is okay.

Find more information about these topics at www.maineparents.net

~Sarah

Q: I saw a pack of cigarettes in my child’s car. What should I do?

A: This could be the opportunity that you need to open up the dialogue about smoking. Ask your child if they are smoking. Talk to them about their use. Talk to them about alternatives for whatever reason they mention smoking. Don’t ignore the chance that they are already experimenting. If you or other family members smoke, it can be more difficult to explain to your child that you don’t want them smoking. But, I’m sure you can give personal reasons for helping your child make better decisions than you or other people in your family have made. Studies are now showing that youth can become addicted after smoking just two cigarettes.

          If your child says that they are a friend’s and not theirs, it might be true. Have the conversation in a hypothetical manner anyway. Let them know that you understand the pressures that they are under, and talk to them about ways to avoid making bad decisions that will make their lives much more difficult in the future.

          For more resources on tobacco use and quitting: www.mainelung.org or www.tobaccofreemaine.org or call the Maine Tobacco HelpLine at 1-800-207-1230.

~Sarah

Q: My child drove his friend home because his friend had been drinking. Should I notify the friend’s parents?



A: What would you want your child’s friend’s parents doing if the roles were reversed? With all these questions, there isn’t an easy answer. One thing that you might want to try is talking with your child and/or your child’s friend and explain that you think it is important that his/her parents know. Offer to them that you would like it to come from their child and you will give them until tomorrow evening to tell his/her parents. If you don’t receive a call from his/her parents, you will make the call yourself. Explain that you are doing this out of concern, not as an attempt to get the child in trouble. Open communication about use is an important step in preventing further use and abuse.

~Sarah

Do you have questions of your own or comments about questions asked? Send them to: Dear Sarah

Everyone has questions like these. There aren’t easy answers to any of these questions. But, thinking about them and talking about them is better than ignoring them.

Send a letter to Sarah and her prevention team to give you personal advice for your own concerns. All questions will be answered. Selected questions will be available on the web site for the community to read. Your questions are probably helpful to others. Identifying information will be changed to protect individuals.